A loss greater than time can heal...Pt.2

Look at me, his mind silently tells me, please just look at me.
I take in shattered breaths, gathering all the strength I need, uttering a silent prayer to God. I level my gaze to his and his eyes find mine and for a moment, time seemed to stop. There were no words, no actions, only the existence of two minds, two hearts.
I cannot find disdain or contempt on his beautiful face but only questions . . .and hope. He is hoping that I still remember the promise, hoping for my love, for a thousand lifetimes together. I search deep into his eyes and what I find there completely seizes my heart and batters my soul. All my restraint broke and my knees gave way. I collapse into a heap on my knees on the cool glittering sand, his gaze never leaving mine. I break down, helpless tears streaming down my cheeks. I bury my face in my hands, the jacket forgotten as I unconsciously loosen my grip and let it out of my hands, granting it the freedom as it flew with the wind.
A wrenched cry of tormented anguish tears from my chest as the realization strikes me. His eyes tell me that he is floundering in a depth of misery that exceeded even my own. My hands itch to touch his face, to soothe him into a dull peace for both of us. To tell him that everything is alright. But I cannot. An invisible barrier stands between us, keeping me paralyzed and unable to cross the small distance to get to his welcoming arms and be with him.
I need to know . . . please just tell me, he silently begs.
And right then and there, I know that I cannot suffer enough to pay for the agony I have casted upon this beautiful creature.
He is asking me, no, he is silently pleading with me to know why.
I slowly shake my head, the tears flowing from my eyes mingling with the salty air. The waves crash mercilessly on the shore, taking with it my sandals as it retreats back to the ocean. I do not care anymore for I believe that the world has already taken the most important thing from my heart. I’ve got nothing more to lose.
He moves his head in a curt nod as if to accept my decision and it is all I can do not to throw up when I saw the disappointment written all over his face.
He softens his eyes and his face was that of an angel’s. A small nervous smile played across his lips. I brace my palms on the sand, my stomach turning over as I realize what he is asking of me. It has been a long time since I heard him speak and his deep strained voice played like music through my ears:
"Will there still be a place for me in your heart? Even the smallest space will do."