Let's face it, we all have those exes we have chased after forever. We've all been in relationships where we broke up over and over and get back together. I guarantee you, we've heard I just want to give me space and we've called crying begging them to be with us. You always hear if you really love them, let them go and if it's meant to be then they'll come back, but do any of us actually ever do it? I have an ex, the first week I thought he was the one, and for the past almost year we have broken up over and over. The other day he said if you really love me and you want me to be happy then stop bringing me down and stop harassing me about everything that I do.
From my stand point I'm thinking, well, you should be down. You should be moping and wanting us to get back together and fix things. Then he said that I needed to let go of my anger and my pain, and I thought you asshole you're the reason why I'm angry and I'm hurt and while that does have justification, he is far from a good boyfriend in the love and caring department, I was the one who was letting it control me to the point where I almost hated him.
I was the one who let all of my pain and anger from past relationships and past events control all my actions and I thought ya know, maybe, if I had let it all go we never would have broken up the second or the third or the fourth and possibly not even the first time. I never let him first and foremost be a friend. He was just my boyfriend, that guy I went to sleep with at night, he was the one who kept me from being alone and although I love him, I never loved him the way I should have and when we were together and when he wanted to go out occassionally with friends I always thought no we should go out together, thats what couples do, but now being single and being away from him, I totally understand that you can't miss somebody, you can't have that fire in a relationship, you can't want them so bad you can't see straight if you don't have some time apart. Maybe that's why rellationships fail, we are too centered on being together and a couple rather than two individuals who choose to be together, but still need their freedom every once in a while.
So my advice is if you've broken up with an ex, leave him alone and if he comes back, he does, if he doesn't, he doesn't, but remember that's only half of it. You need to take time for yourself to heal and get over whatever issues you had with him. A relationship only works when both people are in the relationship are complete and you can't be complete and stable when you have drug issues, or addictions or you lie constantly or when you're so angry and hurt you don't want to get out of bed. You are in control, don't let something control you. Go out, have fun and RELAX! That's the best thing you can do and nine out of ten times you're ex is going to miss you and come back to you and it's going to finally work because there's nothing standing in your way. You only have your future. If he doesn't come back then fuck him. Guys are notoriously idiots and whores.
For those of you with boyfriends who are asking a little space, let them have it. If they cheat, they cheat. Big woop, but a relationship is not about control, it's about being partners and paying attention to the other persons needs. Who knows if you let him go out with the boys, he may actually come home and tell you he missed you for the first time in months. Listen. Love. Learn.
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