HIM

I'm not one to really care what you say.
Unless I care about you to start with.

Say what you will, I'll hear it, but I won't feel it.
I couldn't feel anything before...
I can feel one thing now.

Nothing ever seems to get past my barriers.
My walls are high.

But his words pried past my scars and went straight to dig into the only soft spot I have left.

Trust.
He is like Delilah.
So seductive and appealing, He makes it so easy to give in.
You know you shouldn't, you know he'll hurt you.
But you can't get past the way he sways along, the way his eyes promise you everything is going to be fine,
if you just reach out and touch him.

He'll demolish your heart. He has no mercy.
And like a fool, you go after him and his luminous beauty.
And he goes after your life source. Your heart.

He crushed me.
And I always somehow find the strength to come crawling back.
With a sliver a life, inching along in the direction of death.

Tears were like long lost friends and suppressed memories.
Wrapped up in everything you tried to leave in your past.
But like a parasite, they always find a way to come back and eat at you.
Like now.
They're no longer decaying in the dark cavities of your mind.
They're free, but they cling to you, they don't want to go back.

I'm not anything or anyone anymore.
I'm the cloak of anatomy to an under baring infestation of death.
I'm the aspect shielding frivolous anguish.
I'm the face of everything you don't want.
I'm an example of everything that could go wrong.


I'm God's lost lamb.
Left as Satan's play thing.

He instructed me not to trust in men, in people.
I should have listened.