What I Should Do To Make Friends.

I need to make myslef more likable. No, I can't make someone like me, but I can behave in a way where it is a lot more likely. I want to feel like people enjoy being with me and seek my friendship. Having close relationships is one of the meaningful elements to happiness.

1. I need to smile-Studies show that how much you smile during a conversation directly impacts how friendly you are perceived to be. As well as, people mimic the expressions they see conciously or subconciously. So if I smile, I am more likely to be smiled at.

2.Be Easily Entertained, Impressed, and Interested.-Most people get more pleasure out of wowing you than from being wowed by you.

3. Have a Friendly Engaged Demeanor Towards People- I should turn my body towards them, face them, nod and act interested not only physically but with words, I have a bad habit of not listening, scanning the room or turning away. I should use eye contact and care what they are saying but not be overly talkative about what they are saying.

4. Remember Trait Transfer- In "trait transfer" whatever you say about other people influences how people perceive you. I'll admit I'm a bitch and the first one to find something I don't like about someone and by saying it or acting put off by the person I am influencing them to feel the same about me as well as the other people around. If I describe my friends as brilliant and wonderful my new acquaintance will associate me with those qualities. If I describe them as obnoxious or make fun of people then those negative traits will stick with me. So I should always watch what I say.

5. Laugh At Myself-I can not take a joke. I get so offended and start spouting off insults most of the time. Showing vulnerability and a sense of humor however would make me a lot more likable and approachable. However, I shouldn't push this self-deprecation too far or I'll make others uncomfortable. Its hard to respond and like someone who doesn't like themselves at all.

6.Radiate Energy and Good Humor- Because of the phenomenon of emotional contagions people catch the emotions of others and they prefer to catch upbeat energetic moods instead of destructive or depressing ones or anger. Even though I pride myself on my cynicism, biting humor and general edginess these qualites can be conveyed with warmth. My ex is the greatest at smiling and dissing you and no one ever gets mad, because its funny when you say it with a smile.

7. Show My Liking For Another Person-We are much more apt to like someone if we think that person likes us. I need to look for ways to signal that I enjoy someones company. Even a genuine sounding,"Hello" could change things.

8.I need to Remember Peoples Names and What They Tell Me-Studies show that we decide how close our friendships will be witha new aqcuaintance within the first ten minutes of meeting them.