If you loved me to..

I wish I had said what was hanging off the tip of my tongue. Fidgeting incessantly, my mind abrading a solid decision. There we were, curled up on that old over sized bed, degenerating into time. The Television's constant light, with a distinct luster, danced across our faces as we sat there together, my stupid shows looping over and over. I really felt this eagerness to tell you what would seem like, a ridiculous proposition. I didn't see the relation between the unspoken, and the immediate atmosphere. It's irrelevant, "I know it". I watched water droplets form tiny streams about the outside of your water mug sitting on the table. My fingers coiled into yours, our hearts allied, your smile was a reaction to mine. I was to focused on that to tell you the thing that would have saved you. The thing that would have saved us. The thing that would have held my hand when yours was gone, the thing that would have cloaked me when I was shorn of my comfort. I never told you. I never thought, I never knew. I wish that time wouldn't drag me on to my death, but it would let me go back to you. Just for a moment. I'd give anything, for a moment. You will always be my everything, and without you, nothing matters. And I am without you, now. My body will never be with yours again, but our souls have become one, I will forever feel the constant tug to draw me back to you. I'm not lying when I say that I love you and it would ease the pain if you loved me to.