Tragedy to triumph

This tip is for those who have lost someone for any reason, from being dumped to a partners demise.

While it could be argued that thier is a huge differnce between the two, there are many similarities if there was a large degree of attachment!

When we enter into a relationship and integrate our lives with another person. As a result we are we are forever changed. Our worlds are intertwined and organized around the other...

I have listened to many describe the void that is created in the lives of those formerly partnered...especially those who have had a partner for several years.

Our daily lives are impacted by our loss:

* sitting across from us a breakfast, lunch, dinner
* an empty bed
* fighting for sink time and mirror space in the bath room
* preparing meals for just one
* making plans with out consulting your partner
* phone check ins to see how the day is going

This list could go on and on...what I am describing here is an empty space that was formerly filled.
It is presence felt by it's absence.

Mourning and grieving are a natural part of loss and is the very thing that heals our pain.
While this is occurring it is sometimes useful to remember and do a few things that can help the process along....

1. You were a whole person before this very important relationship
2. There were things that you did that you stopped doing as a result of this relationship (many good things)
3. This emptiness you feel is in fact space...and it can become potential.
4.Perhaps this is a good time to reconnect with neglected friends(happens in relationships)
5. Talk to someone who knows how to listen with out judgment or at least journal about your feelings.
6. Keep their things around for as long as you need to(warning: if you do that too long the empty space will be filled with sentiment and nostalgia and will prevent you from effectively moving on.
7. This is a time to practice extreme self care

These are just a few of the things to do and remember while you are experiencing a loss.